He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
