He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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