I'm really into asian looking animals
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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