Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.