i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
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Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
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What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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