so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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