dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
