so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
