It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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