Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
