fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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