is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
