I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
