no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize