she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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