Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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