She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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