and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
