i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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