Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
