u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
She told me I should be a condom model.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
