dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.