dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO