I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.