Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
