Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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