I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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