You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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