And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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