so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Couch. On fire.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
