I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I checked into jail on foursquare
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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