How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
