The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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