I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
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i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
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I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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