I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
