does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
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some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
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Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.