I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
