I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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