I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
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