i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
