So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.