What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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