found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
