i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
