Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize