I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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