i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
