if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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