I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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