My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.