the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.