There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
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So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
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Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.