Kiss
Puke
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
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My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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