Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I want her autograph on my taint
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
