allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just invented taco cereal.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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